Advise from Love on Love

From a long conversation about changing a relationship came these things…

She wrote him, saying what she couldn’t voice, “I love who you are. I haven't known any friend as much like myself as I find in you now. I've grown apart from any friend I have ever known and find myself growing to this place that seems to be exactly where you are. At the same time, I feel extraordinarily ambivalent about our friendship. I value you dearly. And I grow weary. I can't stop being in love with you. I can't pretend that I won't have my heart broken repeatedly when you find the one you are looking for, if our friendship won't forever fit into the plans when your future love life unfolds, if our friendship is forsaken. I have to consider breaking my heart with you once will be easier to deal with in the long run than to do it several times over. Not having even friendship is an idea that hurts me terribly. I do not know how to remedy this.”

Then she wrote in sweet sustained invitation, “As an individual with some of the greatest insight I have ever wished to hear, would you have insight into this?”

“Would you have insight about yourself to offer me?”

“And what do you mean all is fair in love and war? I know nothing of either.”

He took a deep breath to remind himself that he had a lot to achieve in this answer and required immense sustenance of grace to flow through the answer from his heart to her heart divine.

“Advise?” he replied in a dual request in prayer.

“Ok.” He went on as he felt the flow of grace begin, knowing now it was less about himself and more about love that was about to come through.

“Love yourself immensely in this process as you let things be what they are.”

“I'm certainly not your savior, though I'm usually willing to lend a helping hand, and though the things you're dealing with are familiar to me in the way that I’ve found a pattern of loving myself as things change in my life, and in the way that these are dear to my heart in the overall picture for reasons I don’t’ totally understand yet, except that they are microcosmically indicative of the whole process that I see everyone in right now, of all the process of letting go of the defensiveness and heaviness that we’re holding onto, that we've existed in for ages, of the process of life's unfolding to new awarenesses and new experiences and new creations.”

“You and I are having a dance. A relationship is occurring, so don't miss it by thinking that it's not what you want it to be.”

“In the overall, it's an essential, utterly valuable part of the necessary self-realization that we're both in, and it has different resonances and meaning for us both. These processes and the energies & emotions activated by them push on and bump against the debris in our respective streams uniquely according to our individual, personal makeup, giving us both opportunity to love our own selves more and more completely and more deeply as we clear each piece, in large, sometimes quick ways or in small simple ways. Each is equally valuable and essential.”

“This is truly the only way for love to enter in, to grow. If we're not open and loving and honest and vulnerable with ourselves, no one else's love will ever enter into our lives and experience. Even though it’s true that in the warmth of someone's consistent loving presence, we're able to soften and let down our guards, it's still us doing the letting down the guards, and no one else can offer us what we need, because we are the only one's having our experience and we are the only one's who know how the tenderness is shaped within, how we need to open up to complete the radiance of the Divine Self in our lives and hearts, how we have been prepared by our soul's journey and weaving with other lives to surrender to “Love's confusing joy” to allow the expression of Love to breathe a heretofore unknown experience through us into the world, into and as our life. We are here as an amazing, increasingly joyous life, even though the journey may be difficult and require great faith and inner stillness.”

“Please be more gentle with yourself about being selfish. It's natural and bashing yourself won't help at all, ever. We all think in these terms. We have for ages and we're just moving out of it, so we're bumping up against it as we move up through the soup of time's layers and experiential references. We feel things so keenly because we're revisiting in a way the condensed energy from many lifetimes of interacting with the dynamics these ways. This is obvious even if we just consider that our parents and grandparents lived in vastly different times and speeds of time when they were our age than we are all living in now. At a greater level, it’s not about reincarnation or whatever. It’s just about life and many lives have lived and we are living now and the soul having an experience with its creator and as creator embodying.”

“We know at soul levels that it's a much larger and more expansive and more joyous reality than we've yet known, yet the human doesn't have a picture of it yet, so we must just see what is coming up and then love it, love it, love it, and love ourselves loving it.”

“If you only want things so that they can fit into the picture you've defined, then you might be in danger of missing the richness of the experience itself. It's not the thing acquired that is the value, it's the soul's interaction with it that is the value, the process of interacting is how the soul knows itself, not in obtaining or possessing the external object.”

“All's fair in love and war is an old saying that speaks to the passion and conviction and freedom of expression that people exhibit and feel fully justified and even righteously responsible for exhibiting in an intimate relationship, whether sexual or physical or not. We certainly see this in families of all ranges. I think intimacy and familiarity is what opens this level of freedom of expression between people. Somehow we think we have a right, like we own a part of something in a way.”

“It's like in war, there's complete freedom to use all your cunning and all your talents, expertise and resources to affect the end goal. The sad part is that most of us don’t consciously use all our cunning to focus on a goal that we feel is truly worthy. It’s a paradox in a way. We don’t feel it’s truly worth our complete devotion so we don’t use all our cunning and we don’t’ use all our cunning so we don’t ever experience the full benefit of the experience. We have to be willing to wager everything we are—not all we have, but all we are. It’s a force of surrender to the greater will, not a reckless risk of life.”

“There's not really any other arena that one can experience such freedom in physical form; though for it to be truly beneficial, it can only come with the exchange of one's more expanded awareness, of the pure identification with the Source of All That Is, for when one knows that one Is That, then one ceases to want anything for any gain, for all one’s needs and desires are easily manifested.”

“In love, as in war, all one's cunning, talent and expertise is needed to interact with integrity and to have an experience with clear awareness of what we are experiencing and if it is continually something we want to participate in, to keep ourselves freshly informed, not just complacently acquiescing to another's whims and desires, but to keep the fire of our desire actively participating in our experience.”

“Both love and war have access to the most vulnerable and tender places within ourselves, with our deepest darkness and our most radiant light. Both the darkness and the light are a part of who we are and it is within us to love both equally and to give both proper place, to have both for teachers and allies.”

“Both offer direct reflections of our beliefs and can offer rather instant 'karmic' manifestations of situations that will allow us to experience the beliefs we're holding and to enable us to be clearer about how we’re getting in our own way, in the way of the Divine showing up for us completely.”

“Peace, Beautiful, Beloved One”

“Thank you for asking, for it is your asking that brought this forth.”